Has the change been for the better or for the worse?

Case Study 7-24
A public place you know personally has been changed by time or by human beings. Has the change been for the better or for the worse?
Order Description
The final essay is worth 200 points and is 950-1000 words.
Please time yourself and write the essay in a span of 4 hours. If you took more than four hours to write the essay please indicate at the end the essay the time it
took from beginning to end. The essay will not be downgraded in anyway for taking more time. This is only for my own information and research statitistics.
Usually no feedback is provided on the Final essay. It is graded holistically. Samples of the graded essays and borderline essays are sometimes reviewed by a
Grade Breakdown
Introduction presents issue clearly with acceptable and reasonable positive or negative words that pave the way for the thesis statement and does not exceed 15% of the
number of words in the essay. (10%)
The thesis statement states a clear and unequivocal opinion on the issue and is the last sentence in the introduction. (10% pts)
Each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence which supports the thesis statement. 15%
Each body paragraph is well supported with facts and free of logical fallacies and of clutter (25%)
Conclusion is meaningful summarizes the essay as well as looks beyond it to the future or offers a result/solution. It does not exceed 15% of the number of words in
the essay (10%).
Language is Standard English and is free of spoken expressions and the word you and uses they carefully (15 %)
Paper is correctly formatted and is free from grammar punctuation and spelling errors. (15%)
However no matter how good an essay is it will not receive a grade of A if it
1. Uses the pronoun you
2. Uses the pronoun they to refer to a singular noun
However no matter how good an essay is it will not receive a grade of A if it
1. Uses the pronoun you
2. Uses the pronoun they to refer to a singular noun
Please note that an essay that does not answer the question does not get credit.
To get credit the essay should
1. Clearly answer the question.
2. Have 950-1000 words.
3. Be written in acceptable Standard Language
Read the topic carefully
The topic will unveil its secrets to you only if you read it more than once. It will tell you what to write about but most importantly it will also tell you what NOT
to write about. It will tell you the limitations and the specifications of the discussion.
Just summarize the story in the introduction and proceed to discuss it (in answer to the topic) in the rest of the paragraphs.
The Introduction:
Do not philosophize or generalize
If the introduction starts with word(s) such as : People some people all people often always etc. You may want to cross that sentence out because it takes your
introduction on the wrong path .
Examples: Many people like horror films. Others may like romantic films. I like..
Sentences like these add nothing to the essay. You may safely cross them out.
The Introduction: Hit the nail on the head
Start immediately with the topic. If the topic is about a film a show a book a person a place an issue etc etc Start immediately with the name of the
topic and proceed from there. This will save the readers time and your effort and will help maintain the focus of the essay on the main idea.
The Introduction: Define define define.
Avoid a sense of mystery and suspense which are perfect for creative writing. Academic writing is clear and well defined. So define the person the situation the
show the river the place the issue that the essay will discuss in the introduction.
The Introduction: Avoid announcing what you or the essay will do.
Academic language does not accept announcing what the essay or the paragraph will do.
Examples: In this essay I am going to discuss the reasons for. and then the effects that has on children and adults. Then I will proceed to discuss some
preventive measures.
Or This essay will discuss/explain/argue/compare etc
The Introduction: Answer the question
Write the introduction as a direct answer to the topic. If the topic asks about a situation define the situation. If the topic asks about a person explain how you
came to know this person. If the topic is about a problem you faced explain where and how you faced this problem (do not start discussing the problem without first
introducing how you faced it).
Thesis Statement: A clear opinion
The thesis statement is a clear opinion about a situation an issue a person etc The thesis statement cannot be something like: this is good for some and not good
for some. Such an essay is about the advantages and disadvantages. Your thesis statement has to express what you believe even if you do not believe it.
For example in an essay on abortion the thesis statement cannot be: abortion is good in some situations.
This is not argument. This is advantages and disadvantages.
Even if you have reservations for the sake of the essay you will express one side only.
Thesis Statement: Not a question
Never end the introduction with a question. The thesis statement is just that! A statement! It is never a question.
Thesis Statement: Not what people think
Do not state what many people think. State your opinion.
Thesis statement: Not an announcement of what you or the paper will do.
Never write a thesis statement such as: This paper will or: In this paper I will. This is good for speeches but not for writing academic papers. Academic
writing does not announcing the topic
Think of the best way to organize your essay.
As a rule of thumb remember the following elements:
1. Avoid chronological order because before you realize it the essay will turn into a story.
2. Use emphatic order which is the order of importance.
3. Start with the least important and proceed to the most important so that the reader will always remember the most important point.
Use transition words and expressions between paragraphs
Begin each paragraph with words such as: in addition fortunately unfortunately one important another important not only but also..
Those words are like traffic signs. They direct the reader throughout the essay.
Never announce what the paragraph will discuss
Announcing the topic can take many forms. Here are some examples:
Addiction. Pollution.etc.. (one word instead of a topic sentence)
First lets discuss addiction.
This paragraph will discuss addiction.
Those topic sentences are not acceptable. The topic sentence has a set formula: transition word topic statement about the topic.
Language No Nos
Never use the word you except in quotations and those should be between quotation marks.
Never use spoken language such as ok when it comes to well (at the beginning of a sentence) lets ..
Do not ask questions
Avoid asking questions. A paragraph that starts with question reads like FAQ. State a topic sentence that is clear and that is a statement not a question. And avoid
asking questions in the essay.
Later on when you become more experienced you may use questions. (after you graduate from this class).
Do not address the reader
Verbs whose subject is you are not allowed in academic writing because the word you is not allowed. So do not use expressions such as
Imagine make no mistake think take care of your children etc
Make sure you know the difference between
Their there
its its
where were
are our
to too
effects affects
sit set
lie lie lay
hole hall whole
accept except
then than
weather whether
Avoid redundancy
Often times (often means times)
To enjoy the enjoyment
in order to be able to (either in order to OR to be able to)
About the Title
Capitalize the first letter in the words of the title
1. Always capitalize the first and the last word.
2. Capitalize all nouns pronouns adjectives verbs adverbs and subordinate conjunctions (as because although).
3. Lowercase all articles coordinate conjunctions (and or nor) and prepositions regardless of length when they are other than the first or last word. (Note:
Some writers capitalize prepositions of five characters or more (after among between)
4. Lowercase the to in an infinitive
The place has to be a personal limited place not an entire city. It could be the shopping center that you used to go to with your family or the restaurant where you
ate with your friends the park where you played sports with the neighberhood kids. It has to be a personal place.
Examples: the park where you used to play has been replaced by a number of buildings; your old school has been renovated. Has the change been for the better or for the
In the introduction introduce the place and mention briefly some memories of it.
In the thesis statement state whether the change has been good or bad.
In each body paragraph compare one aspect of the change to what it was before and show how the change is good/bad.
Address the counter argument: what do those who disagree with you think?
Do not get too cozy with the essay. Some students spend many sentences expressing their nostalgia and their disappointment that a place they loved so much has changed.
This is too personal. Remember that the essay is about the place not about you and that whether it has changed for better or for worse is in the general meaning not
in the personal meaning.

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